


What Is, and What Could Have Been

by AlasDearLady



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Complete, Criminal Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Emotional, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Organized Crime, Uneasy Allies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:55:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27169615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlasDearLady/pseuds/AlasDearLady
Summary: Being a SCOUT agent is not the easiest job. As Hanji Zoe comes to learn, it's far more difficult when feelings are involved. Getting attached to people in a place where one second, one choice, one moment of hesitation can mean the difference between life and death...and sometimes the universe is cruel.In a world free from the existence of Titans, humans are threatened by something far greater.Themselves.
Relationships: Levi/Hange Zoë
Comments: 51
Kudos: 109





	1. Mission Compromised

**Author's Note:**

> All characters belong to Hajime Isayama, and are taken from the manga/series "Attack on Titan."  
> According to official manga sources, Hanji's gender remains unconfirmed by the author, but for this story, I interpreted the character as female and used 'she/her' pronouns. Of course, I enjoy and appreciate all interpretations of Hanji, as they are one of my all-time favorite anime characters!  
> NOTE: THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THIS STORY. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT UP TO DATE WITH THE MANGA.  
> Thank you for taking the time to read if you do, and I hope you enjoy what I've written!

Hanji Zoe was fascinated by people.

She had been ever since she was a young girl. There was something so bizarrely satisfying about watching them, all those expressions crossing and contorting their faces. They were so wild and untamed and complex...but so restrained at the same time. Years of practice had taught her how to read a person like an open book. It was what made her E’s favorite field agent. The music in the club was pounding through the building, sending tingles of anticipation rippling through her entire body. In the semi-darkness, she could see the twisting, writhing bodies of the drug-fueled crowd. Flickering lights washed over the room occasionally, drenching it in deep red. At her careful perch on a high-backed stool at the bar, Hanji drained the last of her martini, puckering her lips a little. Moblit was a good special agent and a trusted friend, but he was a piss-poor bartender. Bad enough to blow their cover if he wasn’t careful.

“Your martinis are ass,” she muttered as he slid her another glass over the counter; some of it sloshed over the side and spilled. Discreetly, Moblit stuck his middle finger out at her as he wiped away the liquid with a cloth. Hanji swiveled around in the chair and scanned the crowd again. No sign of the man they had come here looking for.

She strained her eyes again, this time looking for a familiar face. _Aha_. E was sitting in a booth, a cigar hanging out of the corner of his mouth and five different women fawning over him. He wasn't exactly her type, but even Hanji had to admit that E was handsome, and ridiculously so; he was a well-built man, with a charming face, striking aurous hair and a tongue that dripped honeyed words at will. He caught her eye across the room, and his semi-dazed expression changed for a fraction of a second. E was perhaps the most terrifying man she had ever met. One could never tell what he was thinking, and he had an unpleasant habit of making risky gambles when it came to critical decisions during missions. As Moblit had sourly put it, to E, there was no limit to the secrets a man could keep, and there was no one who was indispensable. Not even E himself. A man who cared not whether he lived or died was a dangerous man indeed. But he was a good commander, and a talented spy, and that was all that mattered.

Hanji touched the comm device in her ear, hidden by a curtain of straight brown hair. “No sign of him, E,” she murmured. “Do you think he got wind of us somehow?” E’s deep voice came through almost instantly, barely a whisper. In the background, she could hear some of the things that the women were saying to him, and willed herself to ignore them.

“Kenny is not that kind of man, Zoe. If he knew we were here, he would make himself known on purpose. He loves a bloody spectacle.” Kenny Ackerman. Notorious murderer. Head of Sina’s most dangerous gang. Leader of a drug smuggling ring. Incredibly elusive. Hanji gritted her teeth in frustration.

“This is a waste of time, E,” she ground out. “Right now, he could be-”

“Is this seat taken?”

Hanji broke off instantly, looking up in alarm. There was a man standing there, looking down at her through half-hooded eyes that were oddly piercing even in the dimness. The red lights swiveled over them again, and she caught a momentary glimpse of his face- pointed chin, smooth prominent cheekbones, a stubborn set to the jaw. Black hair hung partially into his eyes over an undercut, and he was wearing a black shirt that was undone at the collar. At least Hanji thought it was black; the red light tended to make some colors indiscernible from the others. A glittering silver chain of some sort disappeared beneath his collar. “Let him sit,” E’s voice echoed. “No,” Hanji said, smiling at the stranger. He inclined his head and sat, his eyes never leaving her.

“Whiskey,” he said, snapping his fingers dismissively at Moblit, who scowled.

 _Calm down, jackass_ , Hanji willed silently.

Moblit set a glass of whiskey down in front of the stranger with a thud and turned away. The man tore his gaze away from Hanji for a second to glance at Moblit, and his mouth stretched into an insolent smirk. He picked up his glass of whiskey with long, elegant fingers, his palm covering the top of it, and took a sip. “You have never been here,” he said, setting the glass back down gently. “I-” Hanji was taken aback. “Are you asking me, or telling me?”

“Telling.” He looked her up and down, and Hanji’s skin prickled a little. “Believe me. I would have noticed if you had been here before.”

“Are you a regular here, then?”

“I guess you could say that. What’s your name?”

“Zoe,” Hanji said. She still wasn’t sure what to make of this bold stranger. “And you?”

“Levi.” He tilted his head back and drained the rest of his whiskey in one go, and Hanji was momentarily distracted by the muscles working in his throat. “Here. Come dance with me.” He tossed the glass back to Moblit, who swore and caught it only just in time. Levi held out a hand as he slid off the stool.

“You’re very forward,” Hanji mused as Moblit fumed. “Do you try this little routine on every woman you meet? And what makes you think I want to dance?”

He smiled slightly. “Only the ones I’m interested in. And you’re at the best club in Sina, Zoe. Why else would you come here, if not to dance?” His eyes glittered, and Hanji’s breath caught. She studied Levi’s face intently. There were none of the usual tells of a liar, whose motives could often be read blatantly on their faces. He seemed harmless enough.

“Go,” E breathed in her ear. “Blend in.” She took Levi’s hand and let him lead her into the crowd.

As it turned out, Levi was a very good dancer. He was a few inches shorter than she was, but that didn’t make it awkward at all. His body was lithe and lean and fluid, his hips moving in ways that she didn’t think any man was capable of. “You’re tense,” he muttered against her neck as they moved in time to the pulsing music, and Hanji shivered as his warm breath touched her skin. “Nerves,” she murmured. “I’m a shitty dancer.” His quiet laugh reverberated through him as his slender hands slid around her waist, caressing the velvety texture of the dark green dress E had chosen for her to wear. Hanji let out a little yelp as he spun her around to face him. Amused grey eyes bored into hers, and he pushed her spectacles (which had been sliding down her nose) up with one finger. “I know a liar when I see one.” The tone in which the word rolled off his tongue made the hair on the back of Hanji’s neck raise.

“Relax, Zoe,” Levi muttered, and Hanji gasped aloud as a strong hand slipped behind her head and pulled her down to him. He smelled incredible; a blend of citrus and spice, and something fresh and clean, like a summer breeze. His eyes were dark and inviting now, the pupils blown wide. His other hand was sliding down her back, tracing gently against bare skin, and Hanji closed her eyes as Levi leaned in closer, his lips skimming her jaw….

“I hope,” he whispered into her ear as she bit her lip, “you’re enjoying yourself tonight, _E_.”

Hanji’s eyes flew open, and Levi’s grip tightened. “I know you can hear me, Commander,” he laughed, and his breath tickled her neck. “I know who you are, and why you are here. He’s always a step ahead. You’ve already lost.” As he moved to pull away, Hanji’s numb hands closed around something cold- the silver chain around his neck. It broke with a snap, and Levi let out a huff of surprise. His fingers absently drifted up to his neck. “You know,” he said calmly as he released her and straightened the rumpled collar of his shirt, “the last person who tried to take that from me had their throat cut.”

Hanji’s heart was slamming away against her chest. She’d almost forgotten about the mission, E and Moblit entirely.

“Who are you? Really?”

His mouth twitched. “Exactly who I said I was. The name’s Levi.” Suddenly, Hanji was aware that she was still holding the fine filigree chain that had adorned his neck. Dangling from the delicate metal in her hand was an ugly square stone pendant, an ornate ‘A’ carved into it with an artist's delicate hand. When she glanced up again, Levi had vanished, wraith-like, almost as quickly as he’d arrived.

Hanji was alone in the blissfully oblivious crowd.

With shaking fingers, she pressed the button on the comm device. “E,” she choked out, “there’s another one. Another Ackerman.”

\-------

In the alley outside, a man with dark hair and grey eyes took out a phone and held it up to his ear. “I made my appearance,” he said coolly. “They were there, just as we thought. They know now.”

“Good,” came the crackling voice at the other end. “The Shiganshina phase begins. Time to retrieve the girl...and the triumvirate will be complete.” The man pressed a button, and the call ended.

“Hanji Zoe,” he murmured. “Hm.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part of the story was actually thought up while I was listening to Franco Aurelio's song "Levi Scented Lust!"


	2. A Secret Trespasser

SCOUT headquarters was simultaneously Hanji’s favorite place on Earth and the bane of her existence. 

She loved the clean, new-building smell of it, the feel of the cool air conditioning system that far outperformed the one in her crappy apartment. What was best of all, though, was the thrum of excitement that seemed to resonate through her veins just from being there; the thrill of a new case, their next field operation, the next secret mission. Hanji loved it all. On the rare occasion that her mother gave her a phone call, she would spend at least ten of the fifteen minutes’ worth of conversation they usually had insisting that Hanji was far too married to her work, and that she should be finding a significant other and settling down instead. 

Hanji didn’t care. She hadn’t met anyone on the planet who made her heart race the way being a SCOUT agent did. 

The downsides to SCOUT headquarters were currently on a dual monitor screen in E’s office, no doubt giving him an earful about the failed operation at Sina’s main club. The Committee, they called themselves. A handful of select government officials, who believed it was their sole purpose in life to micromanage the SCOUT agency and cast blame on them for every inconvenience that they could. 

Hanji thought the entire lot of them were a bunch of squealing, corrupt pigs, and she’d said as much to E on one occasion. He’d gently reprimanded her, but Hanji saw that shine in his striking blue eyes and knew she had said what he had been thinking. 

She leaned back in her chair and propped her feet up on her desk, hands behind her head. Next to her, Mike Zacharias scrunched up his nose and gagged. 

“Goddamnit, Hanji. Have you ever washed your feet?” 

“It’s not my fault you have a bloodhound’s nose, Mike. Not to mention its droopy face.” 

“Fuck off.”

Moblit walked in then, carrying a stack of files, and dropped them onto Hanji’s desk. With one fluid motion, he shoved her legs off the table and nearly sent her toppling backwards. 

“Feet off the desk, Agent. That’s unprofessional.”

“Moblit,” Hanji whined, “you’re supposed to be on  _ my  _ side.” 

“I like to remain impartial,” he said blithely as Mike snickered behind his hand. “These are all the files detailing the last twenty-odd times we were supposed to encounter that bastard Kenny. Somehow, we keep missing him. E wants you to go over these and see if there’s any small detail that we’re overlooking.” 

Hanji leapt out of her chair, knocking a few of the files askew. “E’s out of his meeting?” 

“Indeed.” 

All three of them looked up at the same time. E shut his office door behind him, and ran a hand through his immaculately groomed hair. There was a muscle ticking in his jaw. 

“The Committee is far from pleased with us,” he said grimly. 

“As they always are,” Hanji said flippantly with a dismissive wave. “They can shove their complaints up their-”

“Agent Zoe,” E interjected. His eyes met hers, and Hanji started a little at what she saw there. 

E was worried. Genuinely worried. Things must have been worse than she thought. 

“They’re giving us a month,” he said. “One month, starting today, to bring down the entire Ackerman clan.”

“And what happens if we don’t?” Mike said tentatively. 

E rubbed a hand over his eyes, and Hanji could hear the strain in his voice. “The SCOUT agency gets disbanded for good. They start afresh. New team, new name. And we all lose our jobs.” 

Hanji slumped back into her chair, stunned. Neither Mike nor Moblit seemed to know what to say.

“I’m calling an impromptu meeting,” E continued. “Get all the others. Whoever’s off duty today...get them on the video conferencing screen in the meeting room. Ten minutes.” 

And with that, he disappeared into his office once more, his shoulders hunched with an invisible weight. 

“Damn the Committee,” Moblit muttered under his breath. “It’s as if they think they can do better themselves. If those bastards had to lead SCOUT-”

“We’d have a death a day,” Hanji agreed. “Poor E. He’s only doing his best in a shitty situation.” 

\-----

The meeting had gone just as poorly as Hanji had expected. 

No one blamed E, of course. Out loud. But Hanji could tell from the clenched fists and twisted mouths that some of her colleagues were furious. Oruo, Gelgar and Nanaba had excused themselves instantly once E dismissed the meeting, and Petra had sat in the meeting room for ten minutes afterwards with her head in her hands. The Committee should have known better than to do such a thing. Issuing an ultimatum like this one…far from boosting morale and inspiring the team to action, it had sunk all of them into a swirling vortex of fear, panic and uncertainty. 

Hanji understood. She supposed if  _ she  _ lost her job, it wouldn’t exactly be the worst thing in the world. All she had to do was look after herself.  _ Maybe I could move in with my mother for a while _ , she thought, and then cursed herself for even thinking it. 

But the others- they all had families to take care of. People who needed them. 

She clenched her fist, feeling the sharp edges of her nails digging into her palms. It wasn’t fair at all. 

Hanji was so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she was ten minutes’ drive away from headquarters that night before she realized that she’d left the stack of files on her desk. Swearing at the top of her lungs, she spun her beat-up truck around in the middle of the street and sped back the way she’d come. 

The parking lot was empty. Everyone must have already left. Johann, the security guard in the booth at the front gate, waved at her with a laugh as she drove past. Forgetting things in the office was a regular occurrence. 

She hopped out of the truck, fumbling for the keys to the main entrance, and let herself in. 

The office was dark, except for the eerie blue glow from the various computer monitors at the desks around the room. Hanji didn’t bother flipping the lights on; she spent enough time here to find her way around in the building blindfolded, in a pinch. Gathering the accursed files in her arms, she turned to leave when a sudden creak made her halt in her tracks. 

_ That noise. The second floorboard in E’s office creaks like that, if you stand on it weird.  _

Someone was in E’s office, but there was no light coming from beneath the door. 

Hanji’s hand drifted to the gun in the holster at her waist. 

She set the files down again, as quietly as she could. Whoever was in there hadn’t announced themselves when she’d opened the front door. If it was E, he would definitely have said something by now. 

Whoever was in there didn’t want their presence known. 

Hanji drew her gun. 

Silently, she crept over to E’s office door, which was barely ajar. 

_ One breath in. One breath out.  _

In one fluid motion, she kicked the door open and flipped the lights on. 

The sudden white fluorescence made her eyes water, but the sight of the figure standing in the room was enough to make her regain control of her senses instantly. 

Cold grey eyes, which she had only seen under the red lights of a club, widened as she aimed the gun squarely at his chest. 


	3. A Secret Revealed

“Are you going to shoot me?”

She didn’t move her finger from the trigger. The man in front of her crossed his arms, the silent dare written all over his disdainful face. 

Hanji had driven back to the Scout headquarters and walked inside E’s darkened office, only to find that someone was already there. Someone who most certainly was not E, and who should not have been in the building to begin with. At the moment, she was the only thing standing between Levi Ackerman and the exit. She wasn’t sure what he was willing to do in order to escape. Considering the Ackerman clan’s track record...she was in for a hell of a fight tonight. One she might not walk away from.

_ Damn it all. The one time Mike leaves the office early.  _

“Answer my question,” Hanji said flatly. “What are you doing here? How did you get in? What do you want?”

Levi counted mockingly on his fingers. “That’s more than one question. Which shall I answer first?”

She aimed the gun right in the middle of his forehead, and he raised a slender eyebrow. 

“Are you going to kill a defenseless man, Agent Zoe? I doubt your superiors would appreciate you bloodying up their clean office. They hate cleaning up the Scout’s messes, I know that.” 

_ He’s trying to distract you, Hanji. Stay focused.  _

“Fine,” Levi sighed, waving his hand dismissively. “Shoot, for all I care.” 

Her lips parted in surprise as he raised his arms above his head. “I-”

“Hanji,” a low voice echoed from behind her. “Put your gun down.”

Keeping the gun trained on Levi with one hand, she chanced a backwards glance- and blanched in shock. 

“Commander?”

E flipped the rest of the lights on as he walked in, and Hanji winced at the added burst of brightness that threw Levi’s angular face into sharp relief. There were dark shadows lingering beneath his eyes. 

“I found him in here,” Hanji said tightly, unmoving. “It's the man from the club. The other Ackerman.” 

“I know.” E’s voice was uncharacteristically weary. 

“You...what?”

“I’ve known Levi almost as long as I’ve known you, Agent,” E continued, pulling the swivel chair out from his desk and sitting down carefully, as though a wanted criminal was not standing behind him. “He’s an old friend.”

Hanji’s mind was reeling. Her mouth felt like it had been stuffed with cotton. An old friend of E’s…a known gang member, standing in the commander’s office, without a care in the world…

Slowly, the gun in her hand began to wobble. E’s eyes flashed, and she knew that he could read her intention instantly. 

“Before you try to kill me, Agent Zoe, please allow me to explain.” 

\---

“You’re...a double agent?” 

Levi nodded, his lips pressed tightly together. He was wearing a black overcoat, perhaps in an attempt to look unassuming, but it had the opposite effect. 

“I met Levi seven years ago,” E said, “shortly before I became commander of the Scouts team. I figured out who he was, and I managed to convince him to join my cause. He’s been my spy since then.” 

“Your- spy.” Hanji gaped at Levi, who stared flatly back, unbothered by the prolonged eye contact. “But...at the club? And you’re an Ackerman! How do we know you’re not playing us too?”

“You don’t,” Levi said simply. “You have no way of knowing. And yes, I am an Ackerman, but if you believe that name and familial relation alone is enough for Kenny Ackerman to instantly put his trust in me...no wonder you and your little dream team haven't managed to capture him yet.” 

Hanji bristled, but E, collected as ever, ignored the jibe. “It was imperative that we appear to be one step behind Kenny at all times, Agent. I wanted to lull him into a false sense of security. Kenny is incredibly clever, and infinitely more dangerous. I was willing to play the long game here. I hope you understand.” 

“I- That still doesn’t explain why  _ he  _ is in your office!” Hanji snapped. “Did he break in?”

“Of course not,” E said smoothly. “I gave him a copy of my key.” 

She buried her head in her hands. “You’ve officially lost your mind, Commander.” 

Levi scoffed. “Bold of you to believe Erwin was ever sane.” 

_ Erwin?  _ Hanji lowered her hands to her lap, still staring at her shoes. “Erwin? Is that...your name, E?” 

E said nothing, his face a stone mask. Levi raised his eyebrows. “You didn’t tell them your name?”

Hanji pursed her lips, and then got to her feet, reaching for her gun which was still sitting on the table in front of E’s clasped hands. 

“Seven years,” she said tonelessly as she slipped the gun back into its holster. “Seven years to tell me your name, and you tell a member of the Ackerman clan. An Ackerman, himself.” 

“Agent Zoe-”

“I’m going home for the night,” she announced. Under ordinary circumstances, she would have balked at interrupting E like that. Not that he would have done anything about it, but he was still her superior. 

“Hanji, please-”

“No,” she replied automatically. There was something shimmering in the depths of E’s eyes, but she couldn’t be sure what it was. “I need time to process.” 

E started to get out of his chair, but Levi laid a hand on his shoulder. “Let her go, Erwin.” And to Hanji’s absolute shock, the commander sat down again with a sharp exhale. It was all too bizarre to watch- E, the strong-willed and stubborn, listening to this cold, defeated-looking man.

Numbly, Hanji walked out of the office, letting the door swing shut behind her with a creak. Neither man made a move to follow her as she strode out of the building, climbed into her truck and drove home. 

  
  



	4. An Unwelcome Visitor

A incessant, shrill ringing jolted Hanji from a fitful sleep. 

She’d gone home, shut the door behind her and collapsed onto the bed fully clothed. Smelly shoes and all. She hadn’t had the energy or the mental capacity to do  _ anything.  _

E…. _ Erwin,  _ her commander, her friend, was working with the Ackerman clan. 

And Hanji had caught them, and had done nothing. 

She reached for her cellphone, which had fallen off the edge of her bed, and flipped it open. Moblit was forever pestering her to get one of those new fancy ones, but she didn’t see the need. Her old one worked just fine. 

One forty-six in the morning. Wonderful. 

To make matters even worse, her stomach had only just seemed to realize that she hadn’t had any dinner. 

The screechy ringing blasted through the air again, and Hanji jumped and dropped her phone again with a crash. The back of it fell off and the battery went skittering away under her dresser. 

“Fuck!” 

Whoever was ringing her doorbell at almost two in the morning was about to have their ears boxed. 

Straightening her spectacles, Hanji finger-combed her hair back as best as she could, kicked her blanket aside and flung the door to her apartment open with as much force as she could muster. 

“It’s two in the morning, what-”

She broke off. Her mouth kept moving, but nothing seemed to be emanating from it except a peculiar gasping sound, like a fish out of water. 

For the second time in a day, Levi Ackerman was standing in front of her. 

Hanji stared at him for a second longer, and then slammed the door...right into his boot, which he wedged between the door and its metal frame just before she could close it. He didn’t even flinch at the impact. 

“You have three seconds to get out before I decorate the front yard with your brains, Ackerman.” 

“Hanji-”

“It’s Agent Zoe to you,” she snapped. “Three.” 

“You’re going to want-”

“Two!”

“You obstinate b-”

“One.”

Nothing happened. 

Levi scowled. “I was about to tell you,  _ Agent Zoe.  _ Your gun is on the dresser behind you. Should I wait for you to get it?” 

Hanji crossed her arms, trying to look as imposing as she possibly could with a raging bedhead. 

“You better have a good explanation as to why the hell you are in my home, Ackerman.” 

“Home?” Levi brushed past her and walked in, kicking the door shut behind him. “That’s what you call this tiny dump?”

“ _ Dump?”  _ Hanji shook her fist at him as he surveyed the room with a grimace. “There’s running water, decent furniture, a couple windows-”

“It’s filthy,” he said flatly. “It smells like piss in here.”

“So I haven’t done laundry in a while, or washed the dishes, or- Enough of this!  _ What are you doing in my house? _ ”

Levi shrugged. He was wearing the same grey sweater he’d been wearing at the office earlier, and Hanji realized that there was a wrapped package tucked under his arm. 

“Erwin gave me your address.” 

The very mention of the commander’s name set Hanji’s blood boiling. What the hell was the commander playing at, giving out her address to one of the most wanted criminals in the country?

“Here.” Levi tossed the package to her, and she caught it by the tips of her fingers. “He wanted me to deliver this.” 

With shaking fingers, Hanji tore the brown paper wrapping off. It was a slightly squashed chicken sandwich. 

“He also said you might not have had any dinner,” Levi said drily. “He bought you that.” 

Hanji wanted to toss the sandwich out the window, but her stomach decided otherwise. She sat down on the edge of her bed and took an angry bite. 

“If that’s all you’re here for, you can leave now. Tell E that I hated every mouthful of this thing.” 

Levi leaned against the counter, careful not to touch any of the dirty cups and bowls that adorned it. Hanji had to admit, her apartment was more messy than she’d thought. She despised cleaning, and put it off as long as she could. 

She studied Levi’s face as she ate. There was faint disgust there (perhaps at her less-than-adequate living conditions) but she couldn’t read anything more, and that scared her more than she cared to admit. Even E, who was usually so guarded and careful with his reactions, wasn’t this unreadable. 

“He also wanted me to explain things to you,” Levi said after a moment’s silence. 

“Why isn’t he here to explain himself?” Hanji snapped around a mouthful of bread. “Is he afraid that I’ll punch him? If so, good. I would have.”

“Erwin- E wants to give you some space,” Levi replied. His tone made it evident that he thought this the most ridiculous thing in the world. “He asked that I tell you everything myself. Will you allow me to at least do that?”

“Fine.”

As it turned out, E seemed to want Hanji and Levi to work together. 

Hanji rather thought E should be committed to an institution, if he kept going with this trend of thinking. 

“You and I,” she said sourly, swallowing the last of the sandwich and crumpling its wrapper into a ball, “a team? Even by E’s standards, that is an astronomically bad idea. For one thing, I don’t trust your scrawny ass as far as I can throw you.” 

Levi stared at her blankly for a moment, and then his mouth quirked into a malevolent smile. 

“Don’t tell me, Agent Zoe,” he said softly. “Are you still upset about what happened at the club?” 

“What?” Hanji held his gaze even as she felt her cheeks begin to burn. “Of course not! You’re a criminal and a killer, that’s all!”

Of course, there was no way she was going to admit to Levi Ackerman that she thought of him far too often for her liking in the week that had passed since their encounter in the club. Far too often, and in ways that were not entirely...appropriate.

“I was playing a part, Agent,” he continued, his smile fading. “Just like you. Nothing more. I was only throwing Kenny off SCOUT’s trail.” 

_ I know. Doesn’t stop it from stinging a little, though.  _

“Why are you working against Kenny?” she said aloud. “E said he convinced you, but I think there’s more to it than that. Why the change of heart?”

Levi’s face suddenly darkened, as though shrouded by storm clouds. His grey eyes flickered like miniature bolts of lightning. For the first time, Hanji was able to read the emotions splayed out brazenly across his face. 

_ Anger. Hate. Pain. Vengeance.  _

He took a few steps forward, and Hanji shrank back. Her gun was too far out of reach. If he tried anything, she would have nothing to defend herself with but her bare fists. 

And then Levi bent over and fished out her phone battery from its hiding place beneath the dresser. He dropped it onto the bed with two fingers, and Hanji released a breath she didn’t know she was holding. 

“All you need to know is that we’re on the same side, Agent.” He cracked his knuckles and picked up the crumpled sandwich wrapper from where Hanji had tossed it onto her bed. “I’ll be taking your leave now. Do try to clean this mess up. I’ll be seeing you- we have a lot of work cut out for us.” 

And with the finality of his words hanging in the space between them, he walked out of her apartment and closed the door behind him. 

Hanji stared after him for a moment. Then she got up, locked the door and bolted it. 

For a long time after, she sat in the dark silence, her mind racing. 


	5. Ghosts of Friends Past

After two weeks of working together, Hanji had to admit that she and Levi had begun to develop a sort of unspoken camaraderie. 

She’d gone back to work as normal the day after his first visit, and E had clearly taken that as her acceptance of the situation. There had been no long-winded apologies on his part- only a succinct explanation of what his grand scheme was, and how it would bring the Ackerman clan to its knees. Hanji held onto her anger for a few days, and then dropped it altogether. Being furious was a pain. Being furious with E was _exhausting_. 

Better to merely accept what had happened than to wait for an apology that would never come. 

But that was just typical E. 

She hated to admit it to herself, but there was an unspoken thrill that came with being part of E and Levi’s secret plan. Hanji stayed late after work every single day, and Levi would slip into the office (miraculously unseen by anyone- Hanji still had no clue how he did it). E would be sitting at his desk, head bowed over a map of Sina and all its surrounding towns, his eyes narrowed and calculating. 

According to Levi’s intel, there was a third Ackerman whose potential Kenny wished to tap into. A young girl of about eighteen, living with some family in a residential area called Shiganshina. Supposedly, Kenny had been tracking her for a while, and he thought that this was the time to bring her in. 

Hanji was disgusted. Wasn’t it enough that Kenny raked his claws through the streets of Sina every single day? How inherently cruel it was, to drag an innocent child into the dark and disturbing world of gang warfare. 

Levi had said he needed time to figure out exactly when Kenny would make his move. In the meantime, E had divided his entire team and set up a schedule of discreet patrol rotations in certain key locations that Levi had given him. They would have to lie in wait like snakes in tall grass, biding their time, watching the Ackerman clan’s every move. 

All these things had led to Hanji Zoe sitting in an unmarked SCOUT vehicle, eyes trained on the nearby entrance to an abandoned industrial warehouse. Supposedly, this was where the clan met with lesser gangs in the area to conduct drug deals. The windows of the SCOUT jeep were tinted so dark that they were almost black. 

Hanji was on her fourth hour of watching, and her fifth energy drink.

She was definitely running on a caffeine high right now. She’d had trouble sleeping last night, and had ended up absently re-reading the Ackerman encounter case files- all twenty of them. She only realized how late she’d stayed up when the first rays of sunlight began to creep through her windows. 

Hanji stifled a yawn. Her next patrol shift wasn’t until the day after tomorrow, thankfully. She could get some sleep in once this was over and done with. 

Her phone buzzed suddenly, and she looked down to see a text from Moblit. 

_How goes it?_

_Nothing major so far,_ she replied. _I did see an old lady with a stuffed bird on her hat._

She waited for a second, and then Moblit’s answer came through. 

_Careful. Maybe Kenny is making some progressive fashion choices._

Sometimes, Moblit could be funny. 

She took another sip of her drink and scanned the surroundings once more. There hadn’t been a peep from the warehouse; only the occasional pedestrian who walked past, the couples going into kooky little antique shops that lined the streets, Levi standing in the entrance to an alley a few feet away…

Hanji did a double take and spilled her drink all over her front. The car was instantly filled with a sickly sweet, sugary smell. 

He most certainly had not been there a moment before. Hanji was really beginning to wonder whether Levi was a ghost.

With a sweeping glance about him, he crossed over to the SCOUT vehicle, keeping his head down so that his face couldn’t be seen. Hanji flipped the doorknob up and he slid easily into the front seat. 

“I can’t believe it took you that long to notice that I was standing there, Four-eyes. You’re terrible at stakeouts. I could’ve killed you three times over. Those glasses aren’t helping you.” 

“Nice to see you too, you criminal bastard,” Hanji grumbled, scrubbing in vain at the wet stain on the front of her shirt. “What are you even doing here?” 

Levi brushed his hair out of his eyes and withdrew a spotless handkerchief from the sleeve of his coat, holding it out to Hanji without a word. 

“Oh. Thanks.” 

He was silent for a moment more, and then- 

“I found out when Kenny is going to make his move in Shiganshina.” 

Hanji nearly knocked her drink flying again. 

“You- _what?_ When?”

“I found out like an hour ago.”

“Levi! I meant when he’s going to go after her!”

“Oh- two days from now. He’s handpicking a team to do it.” Levi’s lips were pursed, and for some strange reason he wasn’t meeting Hanji’s gaze. It was unlike him to be coy...unless there was something he wasn’t willing to say. 

“Don’t tell me,” she murmured, swiveling in her seat to look at him head on. “You’re part of her retrieval team, aren’t you.” 

He swallowed, staring straight ahead. “Agent Zoe...I’m not just part of it. I’ve been given the role of squad captain.” 

Levi’s fingers were clenching and unclenching in his lap. Hanji ignored the urge to take his hands into her own. 

“Levi,” she began softly, “why...why exactly did you turn against Kenny when E asked you to? Why do you hate him so much? You can trust me, you know. We’re on the same side.” 

He scoffed, but there was no real menace behind it. “Stop using my own words against me, Agent. That’s cheating.” 

His fingers drummed idly on the faded leather seat. “Seven years ago, a while before Erwin became the commander...a private agency came dangerously close to bringing down the clan.”

Hanji listened, but her thoughts began to drift. She imagined Levi seven years ago, wild and brash and daring, racing through the streets of Sina with the world at his fingertips. A far cry from the sullen man sitting next to her right now. 

“I had two...friends, if you could call them that. Isabel and Farlan. With Kenny as my uncle, I’d grown up in the clan, learning its ways since childhood. They were just two lost souls who joined after.” 

“Wait.” Hanji held up an incredulous hand. “Kenny is your _uncle_?”

Levi pinched the bridge of his nose. “Will you let me finish my story, Agent?”

“Sorry, go on.”

“Isabel and Farlan...they weren’t experienced. They hadn’t had to fight tooth and nail to live in Sina’s underground. That private agency tracked them down, and beat Kenny’s location out of them. They beat a _lot_ of information out of them.”

Hanji’s heart was beating somewhere in her throat. 

“Did...did the agency…”

“Kill them?” Levi laughed, and Hanji shrank back at how bitter the sound of it was. “No. They did something far worse. They let them go free.”

And suddenly, the pieces clicked together, and Hanji understood. The agency had let them walk, and inexperienced and scared as they were, they would have gone right back to the man who they had just betrayed. 

_Oh. Oh no._

Levi glanced sideways at her, and his mouth twitched. “Not slow on the uptake for once, Agent.”

“He killed them, didn’t he.” It wasn’t a question. She already knew the answer. 

“Oh,” Levi breathed. “He tried to make _me_ do it, and I couldn’t. So he did it himself, and he made the entire clan watch. A prime example of what his followers should never do.” 

“It wasn’t their fault, Agent Zoe,” he murmured, staring out of the window. “They were kids. They were scared. The truth is, Erwin thinks that he found me and convinced me to work for him, but I knew who he was. Where he was going to be. He only found me because I wanted to be found.”

Levi fell silent, keeping his head turned away. Hanji wasn’t sure if it was because he was monitoring the warehouse entrance himself, or if, as had happened only once before, his emotions were written clear as day on his face, and he didn’t want her to read them. 

“We’re going to stop him,” she said, choosing her words carefully. “We’ll take this information to E now, and when he goes after that girl in Shiganshina...the SCOUT agency will be there. We will be ready. The bell is tolling for Kenny Ackerman, Levi. Enough people have been hurt. Yourself included. I-We’re going to set you free.” 

He gave no indication that he’d heard a single word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we know why Levi turned against Kenny in the first place! The rest of the story will consist of quite a few time skips, mostly over the span of a couple of days. I apologize in advance because the angst/tension/drama is only going to kick into high gear from here :( If you've made it this far, thank you for reading! <3


	6. To the Very End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry y'all...I really re-read this chapter and went "AlasDearLady...who tf hurt you like this..."  
> Again, there are manga and anime spoilers (technically) in here! Read at your own risk!

“SCOUTs,” Erwin’s words rumbled gently over the comm device in Hanji’s ear. “Confirm your positions.”

“Team Alpha is in position,” came Nanaba’s dulcet voice. 

“Team Beta is ready,” Petra said.

“Ditto for Gamma.” Mike’s voice crackled slightly. 

For the first time in years, a mission was so dangerous, so important, that it required the presence of every single SCOUT agent. Hanji’s skin prickled with anticipation, as though an electrical current was arcing through her body. 

When Hanji relayed Levi’s information to the commander, he’d called an immediate meeting and formulated a plan. 

It had been easy enough to find the address of the house where Mikasa Ackerman lived. Her parents were dead, Levi had mentioned, and she lived with the Jaeger family who had a son about her age. Apparently they’d been childhood friends, and the Jaegers had taken her in. 

E’s plan seemed foolproof. Kenny was unaware that they knew of his intentions. They would split into three teams- Alpha, Beta and Gamma, and each team would take responsibility for covering one entrance to the Jaeger house. The Shiganshina police force was to act as backup, but E wanted them to stay out of the way until their presence was absolutely necessary. It didn’t make sense to risk the retrieval team backing out at the last moment. Best to make them feel as though they had the upper hand, and then rain just fury upon them from above. The SCOUT agency would be able to capture the elite squad all at once, leaving Kenny flailing without his support system.

Hanji tried not to think about what this would mean for Levi. He was helping them, but the committee wouldn’t see it that way. They would be baying for his blood. 

The plan made sense. They were all armed to the teeth. The backup was five minutes away. 

Still, Hanji couldn’t fight a gnawing feeling of unease. 

“Look sharp,” E said, jolting Hanji out of a reverie. “They’re here.”

Three sleek black cars pulled up in front of the house, and a group of men and women alighted. They were all wearing black coats and gloves. 

Although it was dark and she was perched on the balcony of a neighboring building, Hanji recognized Levi instantly, his dark hair neatly parted. He was easily the smallest of the group, but the aura surrounding him commanded respect in a way that the others could not. 

_Not the time to ogle, Hanji. The real part of the mission is about to begin._

She watched with trepidation as the last of the group entered the house through Team Alpha’s designated entrance. _Nanaba’s._

E barked a single command over the comm device. 

“Move out!”

And then Hanji was racing out of the building, silent but fast, taking the side staircase three steps at a time. In the dark ahead of her, she could see the Alpha and Beta teams advancing to their designated doors. Gamma’s entrance was behind the building, but she wasn’t too worried. E himself was with them. 

She fell into place beside Oruo and Nanaba, who each gave her a single nod of acknowledgment. 

“Weapons at the ready,” E murmured. 

_Aim to injure, but kill if absolutely necessary._

Hanji flexed her wrists, and grabbed her loaded gun. 

“On three. One...two...”

On the mark, they burst into the Jaeger household, Hanji bringing up the rear and slamming the door shut behind her. 

The Ackerman clan stood frozen as the SCOUTs trained their weapons on them. A middle aged man and woman- undoubtedly the Jaeger parents- were bound and unconscious in a corner, and a young man with brown hair and a bloody nose was kneeling in the middle of the room. 

“Fucking hell,” one of the women spat. “SCOUT bastards.”

“Do not move,” E thundered, and Hanji couldn’t help but stare at him admiringly. E in his element was truly a sight to behold, a man who towered above all others in both stature and leadership. When he spoke with the powerful voice of the SCOUT commander, all were compelled to listen.  
“Ackerman clan elites,” he continued, his blue eyes blazing with righteous anger, “you are now under the custody of the SCOUT agency for the attempted kidnapping of Mikasa Ackerman. Unhand your weapons. Now.” 

_Wait,_ Hanji thought. _Something’s wrong here._

In the midst of his colleagues, Levi swiveled to face Hanji. His eyes met hers for a fraction of a second, and what she saw there shocked her so much that she nearly lost her grip on her gun altogether. 

To Nanaba and Oruo, it must have just looked like a man surveying his enemies, hoping to break through for the exit, but they couldn’t read people the way Hanji could. They couldn’t look at someone’s face and hear their innermost thoughts.

Levi knew what she could do, and he was _intentionally_ giving her that opening. 

There was a silent apology in those steely grey eyes. A trace of fear, but not...not for himself. 

With a start, Hanji realized something else. Mikasa Ackerman- the very person that the clan had been dispatched to collect- was not in the room. 

“Commander-”

There was the muffled sound of a silenced gunshot. 

E went flying backwards, dark red liquid spreading across the front of his chest like a grisly blooming flower. 

And then chaos exploded. 

Kenny Ackerman had come out of the adjoining room, holding a flailing Mikasa by her collar with one hand. His gun was in the other, still trained at the spot where E had been standing. 

He’d known. He’d figured it out somehow. Or had Levi-

The Jaeger boy threw himself backwards as gunfire exploded between the SCOUTs and the Ackerman clan. Petra shrieked as a bullet grazed her shoulder, but she held her ground. 

Even from the far side of the room, Hanji could see that Moblit’s hands were shaking with barely restrained panic and rage. The woman who had called them bastards advanced, her teeth bared- and dropped instantly as Hanji fired with deadly accuracy. The clan was dangerous, no doubt, but the SCOUT team had trained every day for years, and at the moment, they were fueled by unstoppable waves of anger. 

At least, the others were. Hanji couldn’t really feel anything for some reason. 

Her eyes darted between E, lying in a pool of his own blood on the floor, and the Ackerman girl, who was still struggling as Kenny tried to drag her towards the Gamma team’s door. 

“Kill them!” He snarled. “All of them!”

_I have to make a choice. E or Mikasa. I have to- I can’t-_

But the Jaeger boy made the decision for her. Hanji wasn’t sure where he’d gotten it, but he’d managed to seize a sizeable knife from somewhere. Manic light danced in his eyes as he advanced straight towards Kenny, laughing aloud like a crazed man. 

Hanji couldn’t blame Kenny for being caught off guard. The Jaeger boy looked like a grinning devil. 

Mikasa, who appeared to have been sniveling for all she was worth, took sudden advantage of Kenny’s surprise and elbowed him hard in the gut. As he doubled over with a grunt, his harsh features contorting with pain, the Jaeger boy yanked her free from his grasp. 

“Here!” Mike bounded towards the two of them as the remaining Ackerman clan members fled out the door into the night. Kenny swore, straightening up and taking aim at Mike as he dragged the children further away, but Hanji’s body moved faster than she could think. Before he could pull the trigger, she had her own weapon trained directly between his eyes. 

“Oh?” Kenny sneered, raising a mocking eyebrow. “Brave little birdie, aren’t you? Levi,” he called, not breaking Hanji’s gaze, “catch the little birdie for me before she puts a round in my skull.” 

It was only then that Hanji remembered that Levi was still in the room. She didn’t dare look away, not for a moment. All Kenny needed was a second’s distraction. Still, she couldn’t be sure what Levi was going to do. 

One moment’s hesitation. Another. 

And then the wailing of sirens filled the air. The backup had arrived. 

“It’s time to go,” Levi said flatly. “Cut your losses.” 

Kenny scowled, backing away, his aim unwavering. “I won’t forget this, little birdie. You fucked up my squad, and now you’ve taken away my prize. Ackermans never forget.”

Before Hanji could react, could even pull the trigger in an attempt to wound him, both he and Levi were gone. 

Her gun skittered away as she dropped to her knees next to E’s barely stirring body. 

Petra was clutching her bloody shoulder, Oruo’s arm draped around her shoulders, but she seemed to be alright otherwise. By some miracle, the rest of the team had escaped with only minor injuries. 

Mike was ushering Mikasa and the still-shaking Jaeger boy (Eren, he’d said his name was) outside. The flashing lights of the police cars were illuminating the room, casting strange shadows at odd intervals, but Hanji couldn’t care less at the moment. 

She reached down with numb fingers and cradled E’s head in her lap. There was blood soaking into her clothes, but it didn’t matter. It was E. 

“Commander,” she whispered, “hold on. You’ll be alright. Help is on the way.” 

He attempted to raise his hand, and she saw what he was holding. 

His cellphone, stained with bloody fingerprints, the call log screen still up and flashing with the Shiganshina police number. 

Hanji swallowed the painful lump in her throat. Even bleeding out, he’d been there to protect his team. 

Intense blue eyes fixed themselves on hers, and his lips were moving but no sounds emanated from them. On the other side of his body, Moblit knelt, his fingers hovering just over E’s arm and his face streaked with tears. 

“Hold on just a moment longer, E. Paramedics are on their way.”

E turned his head slightly, looking at Moblit’s agonized expression, and his free hand shifted slightly. After a moment’s hesitation, Moblit took it. 

“Commander,” he whispered, “p-please don’t leave us. Not yet.”

E’s eyes were fixed on a spot high above them, and he managed to rasp out three barely audible words. 

“Thank….you. Levi.” 

His gaze met hers once more, and he didn’t move again. 


	7. A Space That Cannot Be Filled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I've been getting such wonderful feedback in the comments and I'm happy that you are enjoying the story. If you haven't left a comment, feel free to do so, I love reading them!  
> Poor E. I miss him already.

The blood on her clothes had dried now, its sharp coppery scent endlessly burning her nostrils. It flaked off against her fingers when she touched it.

Hanji had closed E’s eyes and held him close until the last moment before the paramedics took him away. He’d looked serene, and she vaguely wondered if that was what he looked like when he slept. 

Moblit had sobbed loudly and unabashedly into his hands. It was true that he often complained about E’s tactics, but the commander had been a sort of mentor to him- almost like an older sibling. Hanji knew that Moblit had loved E. In her own way, so had she. The whole team had. 

And now he was gone, and there was a ragged, gaping pit where her heart should have been. 

She opened the door to her apartment and walked inside. How no one had noticed her walking from her truck to the door drenched in blood, she had no idea. 

Mike was the one who had told her to go home. He would take care of things on this end, he said. Nanaba would let Moblit stay with her for the night. 

Hanji saw the way his chin trembled when he spoke. 

She closed the door behind her with a soft click. 

It was still the wee hours of the morning, and her apartment was doused in darkness. Hanji’s mind was still strangely blank, as though her consciousness was floating somewhere far above her actual body. She wanted to cry. She wanted to sleep. She wanted to go find Kenny Ackerman  _ now _ . But her body didn’t seem to want to do any of that. 

So she slid down the wall right behind the door and huddled with her knees tucked under her chin, tremors ripping through her, and listened to the steady sound of water dripping from the sink. 

E the infallible. The invincible. The man who had been larger than life. Erwin. 

_ How can you be gone ? This is a dream, a very bad dream. I’m going to wake up soon and go to work, and you’ll be in your office. Where you always are.  _

And then her phone vibrated in her shirt pocket. 

With numb hands, she reached for it. There was an incoming call from an unknown number. 

Mechanically, she flipped the phone open and held it up to her ear. A reflex motion. 

For a few seconds, there was nothing but silence on the other end. 

“Agent Zoe,” came Levi’s voice, and perhaps it was her imagination, but he sounded strained. “Are you there?”

_ Yes, I am.  _

Hanji willed her tongue to move, her mouth to open, but nothing happened. She nodded, forgetting that Levi would have no way of knowing. 

Another few seconds of silence, with only the sound of Levi’s breathing echoing in her ear. 

“Agent,” he said again, and there was a note of urgency in his voice now. “I need you to answer me, or I’m going to come to your house.” 

She couldn’t be sure that Levi hadn’t betrayed them. He could’ve easily told Kenny what the SCOUTs’ plan was. But then he could have easily killed her when Kenny told him to, and he hadn’t. 

Teetering on the edge, Hanji made a choice. Whether it was the right one...that remained to be seen. 

With tremendous effort, she choked the word out, her voice cracking. 

“Please.”

There was a telltale click on the other end. Levi had hung up. 

Hours, days, maybe years later, the door to her apartment opened carefully, and a familiar fresh, clean scent hit her nostrils, cutting through the odor of the blood. 

She couldn’t raise her head to look at him. There would be no deciphering of people’s emotions right now. And if Levi had indeed betrayed her and E...it was selfish, but she didn’t want to know. 

“Agent Zoe,” Levi murmured as he flicked the lights on. There was a rustle of clothing as he knelt in front of her. “You’re covered in blood. You have to change.”

Hanji flinched at the sudden burst of brightness. Her eyes had acclimatized to the dark, and she especially didn’t want to see what was staining her clothes. Admitting there was blood there would mean admitting what had happened tonight wasn’t her imagination. It would mean accepting that E was really, truly dead. 

“No.”

“Yes. Get up or I’ll drag you to the shower myself.” 

“I don’t want to. I’m tired.” 

“Fine.” 

And Hanji felt herself being hauled upright, Levi’s slight body belying considerable strength as he slipped her arm over his shoulders and hooked his own around her midriff. 

“What are you doing?” 

“You’re going to take a shower,” Levi said flatly, “and I’m going to clean up this trash heap that you’re living in while you do it. And then you’re going to sleep for a few hours.” 

Hanji let herself be walked to the bathroom. She stood there, arms hanging limply at her sides as Levi reached into the shower and flipped it on, waiting for the water to warm up. 

“When you get out of those clothes, give them to me. I’ll wash them.” 

She put her arms around herself, hugging the clothes tighter around her body. Her eyes were still averted from Levi’s face. 

“Don’t.”

“For fuck’s sake, why not?” He didn’t even bother to mask his exasperation. 

“It’s...E.”  _ This is all I have left of him now. There’s no one to poke fun at, or complain about the committee to, or to eat sushi with every other Friday. No one to give me mission debriefings, or to make me read case files until my eyes want to fall out of my head.  _

Bright blue eyes flashed across her mind for a moment, and Hanji stumbled before Levi caught her by the arm. 

“I won’t wash them,” he said through gritted teeth. “Just leave them hanging on your towel rack. We can deal with that later. Now  _ go shower.  _ You reek.” 

The water trickled down her body in little red rivulets, pooling at her feet. Hanji studied the discolored white tiles on the wall. Over the rush of the shower, she could hear the clink of cups and plates as Levi washed the dishes. 

When the red stickiness had vanished and there was nothing but the scent of body wash and shampoo, Hanji stepped out of the shower, waving the steam away with one hand as she reached for her bathrobe. Levi had been right. A shower had helped. 

She wrung her hair out in the sink and stared at her face in the mirror. Shellshocked, lifeless brown eyes gazed back. 

Not wanting to be in the room with her bloodstained clothes a moment longer, she combed her hair back with her fingers, put her spectacles back on and practically raced out the door. 

In the thirty minutes that she’d spent in the shower (probably the longest one of her life), her apartment had been almost transformed. Dishes were done and put away. The laundry and old takeout containers that had littered her floor were gone. Hell, even her bedsheets had been changed. 

Levi was leaning against the counter, drying his hands with a cloth. His sleeves had been rolled up to his elbows, and his mouth was a thin line. 

“You need sleep, Agent Zoe.”

For once, Hanji was in no mood to argue. She climbed into bed in her still-damp bathrobe and pulled the covers up to her chin, staring owlishly at the man standing across from her bed. He folded the cloth he’d been holding, placed it on the counter and began moving towards the door. 

“Levi.” He froze in his tracks, tension evident in the slope of his shoulders. “Stay.” 

He glanced at her, and their eyes met. In an instant, Hanji knew. 

Levi hadn’t betrayed them. There was no way. 

“Are you certain?” 

“Yes.” The word was barely more than a whisper. 

Levi flipped the lights off and sat down in the threadbare armchair that was next to her bed. The moon was full tonight, and gentle silvery luminescence lit up the planes and angles of his face. 

He really was so very beautiful. And E had been, too, but in a different way. 

E was a lion’s roar, the crash of waves against a faraway shoreline, the crackling warmth of a raging bonfire. Levi was an arctic glacier, a flicker of lightning piercing the sky. Light dancing on the edge of a blade. 

“What happened?” She whispered into the semi-darkness. 

“I don’t know.” Levi’s voice was low. “Kenny changed his mind at the last minute. I had no time to tell you, or to contact Erwin. I could only hope that you would be ready.”

_ They had, and they hadn’t been.  _

Half the Ackerman elites in exchange for their commander- such an unfair trade. Nothing would ever be worth E’s life. 

And still, Hanji found herself unable to cry. She turned over and closed her eyes. 

When she woke the next morning, Levi was gone. She didn’t hear from him for three days. 


	8. Burying a Friend

It rained the day they buried E. 

Moblit had already gone home, his eyes red and bleary from crying. He’d barely stopped since he’d heard the news; frankly, he looked ill, and Hanji insisted. The rest of the team had lingered only a while longer, ebbing away one by one, until Hanji was the only one left. 

E’s gravestone was a rectangular slab of black marble, with only his name, his birth date and death date engraved on it. Simple, uncomplicated and boring- everything the man himself had never been. 

Thunder boomed overhead, but Hanji barely heard it. It was only when the first few drops of rain splattered onto her glasses that she even realized that the weather had taken a turn for the worse. She also realized that she didn’t have an umbrella. 

“Goddamnit, E,” she muttered, sitting down in front of the slightly raised mound of earth. Nearly everyone on the team had brought flowers and wreaths, and Nanaba and Mike had busied themselves arranging them. At first, Hanji didn’t know why they bothered. Flowers withered away anyway. Then she caught sight of their trembling hands and realized that they felt like they had to do  _ something, anything,  _ to keep themselves from falling apart. 

Her own tears still wouldn’t come. She wasn’t sure why. There seemed to be a hollowness in her chest, pressing down on whatever it was that made people sad. That made them feel anything. So Hanji stayed behind, and she did what she knew best. She talked to her old friend. 

“You know,” she said, ignoring the little streams of mud soaking into her pants, “I always knew you had a death wish, you enormous blond bastard.” 

E didn’t respond. 

“I got a promotion,” she continued. “The committee made me the new commander. It’s an honor, they told me. An honor to stand where Erwin Smith once stood.” Hanji laughed bitterly. “They didn’t even bother to send a representative today. I hope you know I still hate them." 

The wind howled in response. 

“I still can’t believe it took you this long to tell me your fucking name. You’ve known me for seven years. Too bad you’ll always be E to me, though. Erwin sounds like somebody’s dad.” She patted the mound of dirt. “But you know, the committee is right, for once. It is an honor. You were a damn good commander.” 

“Truth is,” Hanji continued, dropping her voice to barely more than a whisper, “I’m afraid, E. I don’t know if I  _ can  _ fill your shoes. You had big ass feet.” 

For a while, there was no sound except that of the rain and the occasional peal of thunder. Her glasses were streaked liberally with water now; she took them off to clean them, but her shirt was drenched and sticking to her like a second skin. 

“Damn it!” 

Without warning, a shadow fell over her, and the rain stopped splattering onto her head. An elegant hand dangled a plain white handkerchief in front of her face.

“Use this.” 

“What are you doing here?” 

Levi’s face was expressionless. “You’re going to catch a cold if you keep sitting here.”

Hanji took the handkerchief from him and wiped the lenses of her glasses. “Don’t dodge my question, Levi. You don’t answer a single one of my calls, and then you show up unannounced to E’s funeral. What do you want?” Her voice sounded harsh, even to herself. 

Levi rubbed a hand over his eyes. He was wearing an expensive looking dark grey trench coat that fell almost to his knees, and the umbrella in his hand matched it. 

“I’m...not exactly sure.” There was a trace of uncertainty in his voice. 

“I’m- I didn’t mean it like that. Sorry. I know you were working with E this whole time,” Hanji said quietly. “But it was still an Ackerman that killed him, and that’s not something I can forget any time soon.” 

Levi gave a tiny sigh. “Neither can I.” 

Abruptly, he extended his free hand to her, and she stared at it in surprise. “Come on,” he muttered. “You can’t stay here by yourself. It’s getting dark.” 

“No. I’m not leaving yet.” 

“It’s not like Erwin is going anywhere. You can come back tomorrow.” 

“I said no, Levi.”

She held his icy stare for nearly a full minute, daring him to provoke her further, before he huffed and shrugged off his trench coat. As he sat down, still shouldering the umbrella over them both, he draped it carefully over her shoulders. 

“What are you doing? Your ass’ll get wet.” 

He ignored her, and she unconsciously pulled the coat closer around herself, shivering. It was warm and soft, and it smelled like him- that familiar fresh scent that was just so  _ Levi _ . 

“What was he like?” She muttered. The rain was beginning to relent now. 

Levi glanced sideways at her. “You knew him.” 

“I knew E, the SCOUT Team commander. You knew Erwin Smith, the man. Tell me about him.” 

He was silent for a moment, and Hanji stared absently at E’s headstone. 

“Erwin was brilliant,” he said gravely. “He was a risk-taker if I ever met one. He loved gambling with people’s lives, even his own. I admit, even though our interests aligned, I hated him at first...and then I grew to trust him. But there were rare times...times I saw him at his lowest, when all the doubt and fears that lurked in his mind would overwhelm him. He was a different man then. Once, he even asked me for advice.”

It was hard to imagine E like that, all his confidence gone. It was near impossible to imagine him falling to pieces. “What did you tell him?”

Levi flicked a blade of grass with his index finger. “Erwin’s lifelong dream was to free humanity of the vices that plagued it. I told him to give up on his dream and die.” 

Hanji wasn’t sure when the tears had started flowing. When the dam burst, it was impossible to stop. 

“Well,” she sniffled, scrubbing at her streaming eyes, “he sure took that and ran with it, didn’t he?” 

And then she began crying in earnest; every tear, every ragged sob that had remained locked away seemed to have saved itself for this moment, and this moment alone. 

Then her body was pulled sideways by some strong force, and Hanji found herself being held against Levi’s solid shoulder. 

“I’m g-getting snot on you,” she hiccupped. “You hate dirt.” 

“I’ll live.” His voice was soft, and Hanji’s fingers dug into the fabric of his shirt. The rain had become nothing more than a drizzle. 

“He’s really gone, Levi.”

“Mhm.”

“I’m the SCOUT commander now,” she whispered. 

“I know.” His words ruffled her hair, which was still damp. 

“The committee is probably going to order me to kill you, and every other Ackerman Clan member that walks the streets of Sina.” 

“I know that too.”

She yanked herself away from him, suddenly full of boiling hot, pent-up fury. The umbrella slipped out of his grasp, and a random gust of wind blew it a few feet away. Levi didn’t move to grab it; he was wearing that flat expression that she could never read. 

“Don’t you care?” Hanji snarled at him, teeth bared. “I’m sitting in front of my colleague’s grave, a man I’ve known for nearly a decade. He was  _ your  _ colleague too, your  _ friend _ ! And I’ve just said that the committee is going to make me decimate your entire clan, and your response is ‘I know’? Don’t you feel something,  _ anything  _ at all? Is that all I’m worth to you?” Her voice cracked, and she turned her face, the sight of him unbearable. “Having to look you in the eye and shoot you...do you know what that’s going to do to me, Levi?” Her fists were clenched, fingernails cutting into her palms as she got to her feet unsteadily, ignoring the unsightly mud and grass stains all over her pants, turned her back on him and began striding away. 

She’d made it only a few feet before her cursed shoes slipped in the sodden grass. A firm hand steadied her before she could fall over and smash her head on a tombstone. 

“Leave me alone.” 

“Hanji,” Levi said, and her head whipped up at the word, the way he said it; quiet and fervent, as though it were a prayer to some forgotten god. Raindrops were dripping off his long eyelashes and streaking down his face, making it seem as though he was crying. 

“Hanji,” Levi said again, and when she buried her face in his shoulder, he didn’t pull away. He didn’t explain himself, didn’t say anything more than her name, murmuring it over and over in her ear. 

_ Hanji. Hanji Zoe.  _

And somehow, that was all she needed to hear. 

They stayed right there, in each other’s arms, until the rain stopped altogether. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	9. No One is Indispensable

The Committee’s refusal to extend the SCOUT team’s deadline was a clear testament to their cruelty, and their detachment from the agents who worked for them. 

Hanji had all but begged them for an extension. Half of the elites were dead, she’d told them. The other half who had been in Shiganshina were in custody of the Shiganshina police. The SCOUTs were going through a fierce interrogation process. Kenny was really and truly the only major threat left. 

Even as she’d said it, Hanji could tell from the disapproving looks on their snide faces that they weren’t convinced. In a last act of desperation, she’d brought up the still-sore subject of E’s death. 

It hadn’t been enough. 

“Commander Smith died as any other agent would. His position did not render him above others in the line of duty. His death was indeed tragic, but the mission remains incomplete, Commander Zoe. You would do well to remember that. As long as Kenny Ackerman walks free, Sina is under threat. The SCOUTs have one week left. We suggest you use your time wisely.” That was all they’d had to say on the subject. 

After the conference call had ended, Hanji had smashed one of the chairs in E’s office to bits, bringing Moblit and Oruo running in a panic to see what all the ruckus was. 

She still couldn’t bring herself to call the office her own. The empty desk outside, just across from the door... _ that  _ was hers. Sometimes, when everyone had left, she would go back and sit at her old table with a case file, staring at it but not really seeing it, imagining that E was still there pacing around his office with his usual purposeful stride. Hanji hadn’t even bothered to take his name card off the door. 

Despite all that, something about sitting in E’s chair was comforting. When the tension and stress were at their peak and she felt like her head was going to explode, she would take her spectacles off and sink back into the soft cushion of it, imagining that E was there holding her afloat in a storm-tossed sea. 

The office was empty now, and the last of the sun’s rays were stretching through the window like reaching hands grasping at nothing. Hanji leaned back, closed her eyes and spoke aloud. 

“E. What do you think I should do?”

If she strained her ears, she could  _ just  _ hear his voice. 

_ Well, Commander Zoe,  _ he was saying,  _ a direct approach didn’t work. Even after seven years of collecting intel, we did not have the upper hand in a fight. _

“True,” Hanji mused. “But your hard work wasn’t in vain, E. Half the Ackerman elites are gone.”

_ Kenny remains. And so does Levi. You must use your allies, Hanji.  _

“Use...my allies? What does that even mean?”

In true E fashion, he didn’t bother to elaborate. 

There was a single knock on her door. There was only one person that it could be. 

“Come in.”

The dark shadows under Levi’s eyes were more pronounced than ever. They looked like purple bruises, yet he remained preternaturally handsome. Hanji couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy. 

“Kenny is still seething,” Levi said, walking over to lean against the table next to her. He never wasted any time in giving her updates; something that Hanji appreciated. Their connection was not one characterized by sweet words and kindness. Their sense of purpose was what drove them together. “His clan is in disarray. The fools occupying the lower levels of his hierarchy are in no form or fashion as useful as his elites, and he knows it. He’s furious with the SCOUTs, and especially at you.” 

“Me? E was the one who organized the operation in the first place.”

“That may be true, Commander Zoe,” he said flatly. Hanji couldn’t ignore the little thrill that ran through her at how easily the title rolled off his tongue. She was still afraid of living up to E’s standards, but there was something about the way that Levi said it that gave her hope. 

“But,” he continued, interrupting her thoughts, “ _ you  _ specifically stopped him from successfully retrieving Mikasa. You pointed a gun right at him and dared him to move forward. Not only have you angered him, you’ve piqued his interest.” Levi bit his lip, staring out the window. “In seven years, Erwin couldn’t do that. And somehow, you did it in a heartbeat.” 

“I  _ can  _ be a bit aggravating, Levi. You’ve said so yourself.” 

He turned on her suddenly, and his eyes were blazing with a barely contained maelstrom of emotions. This was as out of control as she’d ever seen him. 

“Look at me, Hanji,” he hissed through gritted teeth, bearing down on her. “Use that crazy ability of yours and read what is written in my face. I’m making no effort to hide it from you right now. Do you see?”

She saw. 

“You’re frightened,” Hanji whispered, the realization slamming into her with the force of a truck. “But not for yourself. For the entire SCOUT team. For-for me. You think Kenny is going to come after me personally for what I did.”

“What you did,” he snarled, “was a fucking idiot move. Couldn’t you have done it another way? Couldn’t you have dragged Mikasa and that foolish boy away from there without feeling the need to play hero?”

“Play hero?” Hanji retorted. “Is that what you think I was doing? Kenny was going to shoot Mike. Was I supposed to watch him die, hold him like I held E? Seeing one colleague die was enough, Levi. What else did you want me to do?” 

“I don’t know!” He was shouting now, his fists clenched and his face contorted with fury. In all the time she’d known him, Hanji had never, ever seen him look anything like this. “I don’t know, Commander! Anything but take a stupid, risky  _ gamble! _ ”

The word rang over and over in Hanji’s ears, and a light switched on in her brain.

Gamble. Gamble. Gamble. 

“To E,” Moblit had said, “there is no one who is indispensable.” 

_ Now you see, Commander Zoe,  _ E whispered in her ear.  _ This is nothing but a game of chess. Sometimes, it is necessary to make dangerous moves. And what is the most powerful piece? _

“The queen,” Hanji whispered. “The queen is always the strongest piece on the board.” 

Levi’s enraged expression morphed into one of genuine concern. “Are you losing your head, Commander?”

Then and there, Hanji knew what the plan would be. 

She stood, facing down Levi. He set his jaw, a stubborn fierceness sneaking into his expression again, and he glared up at her with that defiant, rebellious face that made her heart beat faster. 

“Commander,” he spat, “what the hell are you-”

She put her hands on either side of his face and kissed him. 

Levi’s body went rigid for a moment beneath her, and then slowly, tentatively, he relaxed beneath her touch, tilting his chin upwards and sliding a hand across her back. Just as he had done so long ago, on a crowded dance floor in a pulsing nightclub. 

With considerable effort, Hanji pulled away, breathing hard. Levi kept his eyes tightly shut, as though afraid to open them, but the lines of tension had vanished from his face.

“Why,” he said softly, his palm still resting lightly against the base of her spine, “why did it feel like that?” 

“Like what?”

“Like you were saying goodbye, Commander.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She ducked down and kissed him lightly again. Once. Twice. 

“Goodnight, Levi.” And before she could change her mind, she walked out of the office, leaving him standing there alone, his eyes still closed as though walking through a wistful dream that he never wished to leave. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAH they finally kissed y'all! This was so TENSE for me to write, I could feel the electricity in the air just from being there. As for what will happen next, and what Commander Zoe's plan is...well. All will be revealed soon!


	10. And Miles to Go Before I Sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, a chapter from Levi's perspective! I love writing from multiple perspectives in a story as it lets me get into all my characters' headspaces. We get to see a little bit of what our favorite Ackerman clan member is thinking! <3 Enjoy the read!

**LEVI**

Cold night air was always best for clearing one’s head, and a deserted park bench illuminated by a streetlight was the perfect place to be.

It was the opposite of what he’d known as a child; the filthy conditions of the underground where he’d grown up still haunted him whenever he did manage to fall into a restless slumber for a couple of hours. Sometimes, he would fly out of bed in a cold sweat, his clothes sticking to his body and his breath coming in short painful bursts, the stench of his mother’s decaying body lingering in his nostrils. 

His sleep schedule had worsened recently, and he could see it on his face whenever he looked into a mirror. Of course, he wasn’t helping his own situation; he could’ve been at least  _ trying  _ to rest, but here he was, sitting alone at two in the morning, doing his very best to  _ not  _ think about the way he’d been kissed a few hours ago. 

An incessant, annoying buzzing jolted Levi out of his muddled thoughts, and he reached for the phone in his coat pocket. _The culprit herself._ _Goddamnit._

“Hanji?”

“ _ LEVI!”  _ A shrill screech nearly shattered his eardrum, and his entire body tensed. Why was she screaming? Was she hurt? Where was she? How fast could he get to-

“Where are you?” By the time she answered, he was already halfway back to his parked car- one that he had borrowed from Kenny’s motley collection of vehicles. 

“I’m in-innn my house,” came the slightly slurred answer from the other end. Levi stopped dead and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“Hanji Zoe,” he said flatly, “you’re drunk.”

There was silence for a moment, and then a low giggle. He hated to admit it, but there was something musical about its sound. It had been some time since he’d heard Hanji laugh. 

“Come visit,” she continued, and her tone had changed; she was still clearly intoxicated, but there was more willpower behind her words now. 

“Agent, I suggest you go sleep this off. Tomorrow I will probably give you hell for being a lightweight.” 

“Levi,” Hanji hummed, her voice soft now. “Please. I want to- I need to see you.” 

His heart was doing slow somersaults somewhere in the pit of his stomach. 

“I-Fine.” 

Hanji was sitting cross legged and barefoot in the courtyard of her apartment building when he pulled up to it, a few paces away from her open door. There was a half-finished bottle of rum tucked carefully into the crook of her arm and a pile of cold ashes in front of her, a gray stain against the dark pitch. She gave Levi a loopy grin as he made his way over to her, and he cursed silently as his ridiculous heart did another round of gymnastics. 

“You came!”

Levi looked down at her as disdainfully as he could, his lip curling in disapproval. “Agent, what the actual fuck are you doing? This is hardly the time to be drinking.”

“Oh please,” she chortled, happily waving a hand at him as her spectacles slid down her nose. “You don’t need to pretend, Levi. Wanna know a secret?”

“Do tell,” he said drily, crouching down in front of her. 

Hanji put a hand to her mouth in a conspiratorial fashion, although there was no one outside but the two of them and the moon. 

“I’m even better - hic- at reading people when I’m a little drunk,” she whispered, chuckling. “I can tell you’ve been thinking about me. I see it in your eyes.”

He couldn’t find words for a moment. “I-you-”

“Are you angry because I kissed you?” She laughed aloud, but even he could see that the humor didn’t reach her eyes. “Don’t be. It doesn’t have to mean anything. I don’t regret it, though. I’ve wanted to do that for a while.”

_ What the hell. She’s even  _ **_more_ ** _ forward now than she normally is.  _

Levi spoke, choosing his words very carefully. “I’m not angry, Agent. I only came by because I thought you might be doing something stupid, and it looks like I was right. What did you burn here?”

“Oh,” Hanji said, staring at the ashes and suddenly looking somber. “My clothes. The ones with E’s blood on them. I- I felt like it was time to let him go.” 

A twinge of sympathy rocketed through him. 

Though, like many of his thoughts, he hadn’t said it aloud, Levi felt Erwin’s absence like a gnawing ache. The Commander had been a steadying, constant presence in his life for quite some time. The night Levi had joined his cause, Erwin had held him, tethered him to reality as he sobbed and raged and howled like an animal after Isabel and Farlan had been killed. His body had been unable to produce a single tear since. 

Not crying didn’t mean he couldn’t feel pain, though. It was his fault Erwin had died. He hadn’t been good enough to collect all the information the SCOUTs had needed. Even now, he wondered if he had shown Kenny his true colors in Shiganshina, had managed to contact them before the mission, had broken Erwin’s goddamn legs so he wouldn’t have gone to Shiganshina in the first place….perhaps his comrade, _Hanji’s_ _friend_ , would still be alive. 

“Hanji,” he sighed, “give me the bottle. You’ve had enough.”

“Nooo, wait...just a little more…”

She broke off, staring at him with wide, wondering eyes as he awkwardly placed a hand against her cheek and brushed it with his thumb. Levi hadn’t known much tenderness growing up, but there was something about Hanji Zoe that brought back one of his earliest memories- his mother’s arms wrapping around him, her soothing voice lulling him to sleep. When he was gentle with the agent...well, Levi was not one to be superstitious by any means, but he could swear that he could feel Kuchel Ackerman’s presence, swirling around him like a protective wind. 

“Here.” He slid the bottle out of her arms, and she yielded without complaint. “You need to go to bed.” 

She kept gazing at him wordlessly with that mildly stupefied expression as he helped her to her feet and walked her back into her apartment. To his surprise, she had kept it relatively clean, apart from a few scattered takeout containers and some stray clothing draped over random pieces of furniture. Levi felt strangely proud. 

Hanji threw herself down onto the bed and splayed out like a starfish. In the half-darkness, Levi couldn’t help but crack a tiny smile at her antics.

“Come to bed with me.” 

The smile slid off his face like butter off a hot plate, and he could feel his cheeks burning. Thank goodness Hanji’s face was squished into her pillow, and she couldn’t see him. 

“No.” The answer flew out of his mouth faster than his brain could register the thought. 

“I’m not asking you for sex, if that’s what you’re thinking,” she said matter-of-factly. The sirens blaring in Levi’s mind shut off instantly, and he hated himself for feeling relieved. “If I was asking for that, I’d ask sober.” 

_ Oh.  _

“I really shouldn’t stay,” he said through gritted teeth, his embarrassment skyrocketing by the second. “I should go, I have to-”

“Oh. Okay.” Instantly, his heart broke at how small and dejected she sounded, and Levi cursed himself inwardly. What the hell was wrong with him? Had he really lost his head completely after one instance of kissing?

A voice that sounded suspiciously like Erwin’s chuckled in the back of his mind. 

“I-I can stay for a while. Just a little while.”

And before he knew what was happening, Levi was lying next to Hanji in her bed, her blanket pulled up to both their chins. He froze, unsure of what to do next. Should he put an arm around her, pull her close like those heroes did in romance movies? No...he was no hero. Should he turn to face her, turn away from her? Should he-

Hanji solved the problem for him by throwing a lanky arm out, hooking it around his midriff and dragging him sideways, tucking his head under her chin. She threw one of her legs (so much longer than his, he noted with some chagrin) over his waist, and her soft exhales ruffled his hair. 

“Are you comfortable?”

“Yes.” And he was. He was more comfortable than he cared to admit. He hadn’t been held like this since...well, ever. 

Hanji was silent for a few moments, and Levi listened to the sound of her breathing as he tried to bring his own heart rate down. If he had to think about it, he wasn’t sure that he....loved Hanji. At least not yet. But then these feelings that overwhelmed him...it was all so confusing and terrifying to think about, and there was no time. 

“Levi,” Hanji murmured abruptly into the darkness, “I’m scared.”

“Of what?” 

“I-” Something wet dripped onto his forehead, and then Hanji sniffled. “Of- of the future.” 

“I understand.” He couldn’t say that it was alright, or that she shouldn’t be scared. Hanji had every right to be terrified. 

“All the SCOUTs are relying on me,” she went on. “I have all these people’s lives and livelihoods in my hands, Levi. If I lose my job, or if I d-die...my mother and I don't have a good relationship, so  it doesn’t really impact anyone that much.”

_ Yes it does,  _ he wanted to scream.  _ It does.  _

“But Moblit and Mike and Petra and the others...they have families. Some of them have kids. I don’t...I just don’t want anyone else to die. I’m going to make sure that they won’t die. And you too, I don’t want you to get hurt either. You've been hurt so much already.” 

Beneath the blanket, her fingers brushed against the flat, bare skin of his stomach where his shirt had ridden up, and Levi shuddered imperceptibly. 

“Thank you,” she said finally. 

“What for?” Levi breathed. 

“For not telling me that it’s going to be okay, or that it’ll all work out,” Hanji said drowsily, and Levi’s heart contracted sharply for the twentieth time. At this rate, he’d have to start seeing a cardiologist. 

“And for staying with me, even though you didn’t really want to.” Her hand stilled against his stomach, and her breathing was beginning to even out as sleep overtook her. “And I’ll be fine tomorrow. Did you know...did you know I don’t get hangovers?” 

There was a snuffling snore. Hanji was asleep, her tears still drying on Levi’s face. 

He listened to her thoughtfully for a few more moments, and then intertwined her hand with one of his own before closing his eyes. 


	11. So Ist Es Immer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Mentions of blood, some gore and lots of violence in this part. Proceed at your own risk. Also MANGA SPOILERS AHEAD (technically?)
> 
> I'm so sorry y'all. I listened to 'So Ist Es Immer' and 'Vogel Im Kafig' while I was writing this and it made it hurt so, so much more.

Levi woke slowly, gently, the gentle caress of dreamless sleep leaving its lingering kiss on his eyelids as it slid away. The sunlight was bright and blinding, and he put up a hand to shield his face as he pulled the blanket off himself and reached for Hanji, but his hand found nothing but empty space. 

The bed was suddenly ice cold. 

“Agent?” 

There was no answer. His drowsiness was ebbing away now, and an inexplicable sense of dread was pooling in his gut. The apartment was as silent as the grave, except for the rhythmic sound of the leaking sink. 

_ It’s alright. She must just be in the bathroom, or she’s gone for breakfast, or… _

He swung his legs out of the bed and stood up, straightening the rumpled collar of his shirt and attempting to fix his tousled hair. A clatter of metal on wood startled him, and he looked down to see his phone lying near his bare feet. It must have slipped out of his pocket during the night. 

He picked it up and turned it on, and his stomach lurched uncomfortably again. 

It was two o’clock in the day. He’d slept for nearly all of it...and there were ten missed calls. All from Kenny. With shaking fingers, Levi opened his text messages to one of the only two chats that he had. 

_ Where the hell are you, boy? _

_ Get your ass down here. You’re not going to want to miss this one.  _

_ A little birdie has flown into my lair.  _

A little birdie. Into the dragon’s lair. The message had come a little over an hour ago. 

Impossible. They would have recognized her vehicle, not allowed her to enter. It wasn’t one of-

His breath coming in short painful gasps, Levi crossed the apartment in two strides and flung the door open. Hanji’s beat up truck was still parked there, and he relaxed for a moment. Kenny must mean someone else, there was no way...right?

And then he realized that her truck was the only one in the parking lot, and his hand drifted to his empty shirt pocket. His own car- Kenny’s car- was gone. 

Gone. 

Levi doubled over in the doorway, his body lurching as he dry heaved, but nothing came out. It wasn’t like he’d eaten anything to throw up. 

Five minutes later, the tires on Hanji’s truck squealed as it raced out of the parking lot, leaving nothing but clouds of dust and a pile of cold ash. 

When he walked, barefoot, into Kenny’s dimly lit headquarters twenty minutes later, the remainder of the clan was already assembled there. All thirty-or-so of them turned to stare at him, faces gleaming with an unpleasant mixture of disapproval, jealousy and sourness. Levi ignored them, and ignored the incessant stinging of his knuckles; when the watchmen had tried to prevent his vehicle from entering the compound, he’d left it at the gate and walked in, after breaking all three of their noses. 

“Well, well, well, nephew,” a drawling voice echoed from the middle of the room. The clan members parted automatically as Kenny walked forward, his angular face as triumphant as Levi had ever seen him. 

“Look at you,” he said, ruffling Levi’s hair with a long-fingered hand. “Some woman keep you up last night? This is as unkempt as I’ve ever seen you.” Kenny withdrew his hand with a chuckle, but Levi could see the malevolence glittering in his gaze.

_ Do not test me,  _ his eyes seemed to say.  _ You’ll answer for this later.  _

Levi set his jaw and met his uncle’s calculating gaze. He would be doing nothing of the sort. 

“What did you mean by that text?” He said, keeping his voice as even as he could. Kenny had raised him, had trained him, had learned every single one of his ‘tells.’ He would know the very instant Levi let his emotions get the better of him, so he had learned the delicate art of shielding them behind a thick curtain. 

“Oh, we had an intruder at one of our warehouses,” Kenny drawled, waving an airy hand. “A little birdie that I’ve had the pleasure of meeting once before. So have you, actually. But I doubt you remember as well as I do.” 

He snapped his fingers, and two of the clan members dragged a limp figure forward. 

“Nephew,” Kenny said with a dramatic flourish, “this is Commander Hanji Zoe, leader of the SCOUTs and the woman who ruined our Shiganshina mission. Be polite, now. Say hello.” 

Levi couldn’t speak. His tongue refused to move, to shape the words. 

Hanji was a mess. There were purple and yellow bruises all over her face, and one of her eyes was swollen shut and bloody. Kenny surveyed her for a second, and then clicked his tongue. 

“Now now, she might look a little worse for wear, but you should ask her what she did to the ones who were actually in the warehouse when those idiots let her in. With one gun and one blade, mind you, little birdie here took down nine of us all by herself. It took another ten to restrain her and bring her to me. Can you imagine the potential she would have had as one of us?”

Kenny kept talking, but Levi ignored him. He was gazing at the bloodshot brown eye that was staring right into his very soul, slicing him to the core, and he willed her to read his face. 

_ What the hell were you thinking, Agent? You’ve lost your damn mind. Coming here all by yourself? I don’t- I don’t know if I can get you out of this.  _

Slowly, painfully, the corner of Hanji’s mouth curved into a smile. With a jolt that wracked his body, as clear as day, Levi could see it in her face. 

_ My choice, Levi. My gamble.  _

“And now,” Kenny interjected with a smile, bringing Levi back down to earth, “care to explain why our lovely commander here drove into one of our bases in my car? The one that I gave you for personal use?” 

Levi blinked. The coldness of the concrete was beginning to seep into his bare feet. 

“Levi,” Kenny said flatly, all pretenses at amusement and joviality gone now, “I want an answer. Surely you haven’t been working with the people who have been trying to bring us down. The people who let Kuchel die in poverty and pain. The people who would have let you starve to death, if it weren’t for me.” 

Levi said nothing. He hated to admit it, but there was panic rising in his chest again, pressing against his lungs, choking him. 

“Fine,” Kenny growled, and his teeth were gritted. “I’ll have to loosen up your tongue a little.” 

His uncle really was one of the best shots he’d ever seen. Always deadly, no hesitation at all. 

And there was no hesitation now, even as the clan members stepped aside and the bullet ripped through Hanji’s stomach. 

Just like that, the panic was gone. All Levi could feel was a deathly tranquility, descending upon him like a ghostly shroud from the sky. 

Hanji’s knees hit the ground with an audible crack, her reddening hands clamped around her stomach before she slumped backwards. 

“You’re unbelievable, boy,” Kenny snarled, aiming his gun between Levi’s eyebrows. “I take care of you all my life, and this is how you repay me. You work with them behind my fucking back. I’ll have your head for this, your mother be damned.” 

Levi took one step towards him, then another. Kenny’s eyes widened for a fraction of a second. The rest of the clan seemed to be holding its breath. 

The gun fired with a crack that split the air.

And Levi moved, the bullet barely grazing his shoulder as he did so, and withdrew the twin blades he had stolen from the watchmen and stashed in the insides of his coat. He didn’t even feel the pain of the wound. 

“Bringing a knife to a gunfight, boy?” Kenny’s harsh laugh echoed off the walls. “There’s one of you, and thirty of us.” 

_ I am humanity’s strongest, and she was humanity’s best.  _

He spun with the blades in his hands, faster than ever before, and scarlet liquid sprayed up in his face as three clan members dropped like broken marionnettes at his feet. 

_ Twenty-seven.  _

Kenny roared, but Levi barely heard it. There was a roaring of a different kind echoing in his ears now, and still he was peaceful. The blades had taken on a life of their own, a beautiful, bloodthirsty dance as they sang a dissonant harmony of vengeance and fury. The clan drew their weapons and charged at him. 

Bullets missed. Knives and daggers found empty air. 

_ Twenty.  _

_ Seventeen. _

_ Fifteen. _

_ Twelve. _

A lucky swipe slashed him across one eye, and he hissed before severing the culprit’s index and thumb fingers from her hand. 

_ Eleven.  _

He did not know if he was breathing, or if he was even alive anymore. His body and the blades had become one. 

_ Four.  _

The ground was littered with bodies and slick with blood. His bare feet were slipping in it, and he was drenched to the bone. His feet were no longer cold. 

_ One.  _

Levi looked down at his uncle. Even now, faced by Death itself, Kenny’s expression was arrogant and unwavering. 

“There were some who said you were a monster,” Kenny said softly, and Levi’s blade stilled in his hand. “I never saw it that way. I wanted you to be strong, to be infallible. I wanted to take Sina back from those corrupt politicians who tyrannized it, and I wanted to do it on my terms.” 

“None of us are infallible,” Levi replied. The death calm was fading now, and there was a dull ache beginning to set in. 

“So it would seem.” Kenny shrugged. “Go ahead, then. If it will make you happy, kill me.”

Levi’s heart was pounding so hard he was sure that Kenny could hear it. His uncle, the only father figure he’d known for his entire life, looked at him incredulously, and then laughed. 

“Levi-”

He drove the blade home. 

Kenny’s eyes went wide for a moment, and his hand gripped Levi’s. 

“For Isabel and Farlan, Uncle,” Levi murmured. “For Erwin. And for Hanji.” 

The light in Kenny’s gaze faded to nothingness. 

  
  


Levi dropped to his knees in the sea of blood and corpses and pulled Hanji into his arms. She opened her good eye weakly and peered up at him, her breathing far too shallow. 

“You planned this from the start, didn’t you,” he said, his words hollow. “You knew they would bring you here. How did you know I would make it in time?”

Hanji coughed, and her teeth were bloody. Still, she bared them in a grim smile. “I’m sorry. A...gamble.”

Levi tightened his grip on her. “Your life, to protect your team. How did you even know I would come find you? That I would kill them?” 

Another cough. “Read it...in your face.”

There was a painful, burning sensation at the back of his eyes. Hanji’s smile faded, and one of her hands came up to stroke his face. 

“No...tears. No regret.”

Something painful seemed to be lodged in his throat as more and more tears came streaking down his face, washing away the blood and splattering onto Hanji’s cheeks. 

“Tell them,” Hanji whispered, tears glistening at the corners of her own brown eyes. “Tell my team...that I dedicated my heart. That I wasn’t afraid.” 

She fumbled for something at her neck, and Levi recognized the engraved Ackerman necklace that she’d taken from him in the club that night. 

Her fingers closed around it to tear it off, but Levi let his trembling hand cover hers.    
“Keep it,” he whispered. “It’s yours.” 

She gasped softly, more tears welling up in her eyes, and he buried his face in her neck and held her until the rise and fall of her chest ceased altogether. 


	12. See You Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've made it to the very end. If you've made it this far...thank you so much for reading. I had a wonderful time writing this fic and I hope you enjoyed it as well! Thank you for the wonderful feedback, kudos and comments. I miss these character already, and I can't wait for Season 4 of the anime and the final manga chapter. Shinzou wo Sasageyo! 
> 
> Song for this chapter- "Call your name" from the Attack on Titan Soundtrack

TWO WEEKS LATER

“This is the only favor I’ll be doing for you, Ackerman,” Mike said quietly as he parked just outside the gates. “Don’t expect anything more than this. Try anything funny and I’ll be coffin shopping for you tomorrow.”

Levi nodded. Mike fished the keys out of his pocket and unlocked the handcuffs. 

As he opened the passenger door to get out, Mike cleared his throat. 

“I don’t know what she was to you,” he muttered, his eyes fixed on the empty road in front of them. “But she meant so much to us. Moblit loved her. So did Commander E. We all did.” 

He turned to Levi, and there was grief in his eyes. 

“Ten minutes.”

“Hey, Four-eyes.” 

The midday sun was bright enough to hurt Levi’s eyes. He wished he’d brought sunglasses. 

“I’ve finally come to visit,” he said, sitting down cross-legged on the grass. “I felt like seeing you today.” 

He brushed the hair out of his eyes, letting the burning rays seep into his skin. It was a welcome sting.    
“You’re quiet,” he said softly. A chirping brown bird fluttered past him and landed in the low branches of a nearby tree. 

“It’s not like you to be quiet. I’ll never get used to it.” 

He played with a broken blade of grass for a moment, twirling it around his fingers. 

“The girl- Mikasa -she’s young, but apparently she’s got potential as a fighter. Wants to join your SCOUTs team, believe it or not. Tch. Waste of her skills, if you ask me. Someone as good as her, they’ll put her on the front lines. Make her stare death in the face every fucking day. That crazy Jaeger boy she lived with...they’re going to train for it together. She likes him, too. I’m not sure why. But then, I was never really sure why you liked me, either.”

Levi sat in thoughtful silence, and then he laughed wryly. “You know, I think this is the most I’ve ever said to you without you interrupting me. Not that I minded too much.”

A ghostly, familiar laugh echoed on a passing breeze, and then it was gone. 

“Why is it easier to talk to people when they can’t hear you anymore?” Levi mused. “I know you’d have some bullshit, long winded philosophical answer to that.” He ground his teeth.    
“I think it’s because most of us are cowards, myself included. I was afraid of getting attached, and then I got attached anyway. I really am a stupid bastard.”

He closed his eyes, remembering a cool night in Sina when he had seen her for the first time. 

“I’m going to tell you the truth. I never forgot the way you looked in that club when we met. Green looks wonderful on you.” His cheeks burned, but he went on. There might never be another chance to say this. “I told you that what happened in the club was all an act, and it was. I know we weren’t something, Hanji. But we weren’t nothing either. I’m sorry it took me this long to say it.”

The tree leaves overhead rustled slightly. 

“I’m happy you kept that necklace. It was yours the moment you touched it. I’d say I wish our circumstances had been different, but wishing is for optimists and people with futures. You know I’m neither of those.” 

Down the hill, Mike blared the shrill horn of his car twice.

“Erwin really had to one-up me every chance he got,” Levi muttered, “I’m stuck here, and he gets an eternity with you. Tell him I said hello. Tell them all.” 

Another sound of the horn. He had to wrap this up now, before the agent came charging up the hill to drag him off. 

“I’d tell you goodbye, but I’m human. It’s not like we’ll never meet again. It was supposed to be me, not you, to begin with...but I’ll get there soon enough.” 

Levi got to his feet and turned his eyes upon the grave one last time, committing it to memory, remembering her grin, her arms around him and her lips on his, those wildly intelligent brown eyes. 

“See you later, Hanji.” 

The brown bird whistled once, and then flew away. 


End file.
